If You Read it on the Internet, it Must be True... Right?

Ah, prom season; it's here again, like it or not. Whether you're on the "like it" side or the "not" side will likely depend on your age and gender.
 
I always wanted a gorgeous, romantic prom night. Then I got to be old enough to actually attend a prom, and realized that my chances at "romantic" were slim to none. I gave up the fantasy pretty easily, with no depression or weeping. Plus, I ended up with a great senior prom story that included my best friend, her debate partner, a sports car, McDonald's and a freshman in drag. (See "Prom Memories", my post on 6/17/11.)
 
For the most part, my kids attended formals with friends, some opposite gender, and some same gender. My oldest shopped for hours; my second bought the first dress that fit her.
 
My second daughter's senior prom date is undoubtedly responsible for an Internet rumor that will come back to bite somebody on the butt some day. "Chris!" I said, when he put a comment on his MySpace. "You can't say that! People will believe you!"
 
"No, they won't," he said. "They know I'm kidding."
 
"No! They don't! Trust me!"
 
He laughed.
 
 I wasn't angry with him, and he wasn't spreading false rumors of sexual conquest – far from it. I was simply sure that he was vastly underestimating the average person's ability and willingness to believe the outlandish, especially when it involves religion and sex.
 
Terry, my daughter, had a beautiful sky blue gown with beading. It was sleeveless, so I took material from the matching shawl that she didn't intend to wear and used it to make cap sleeves. On the day of the prom, she went to her cousin Sarah's house so that Sarah could do her makeup. The theme was "Arabian Nights," and Sarah does exotic so much better than we could have done it at home.
 
Sarah's meticulous, but not very speedy, so it took longer than we'd anticipated. Even though Sarah only lived a few blocks away, Terry was running late. She ran upstairs to put on her dress, and in her haste she popped the zipper.
 
It didn't just jump off the track or lose its pull tab – it wrenched loose with such force that the entire sliding mechanism flew off the dress, taking a number of zipper teeth with it. It was low on her back too, leaving the entire back of the dress gaping open. There was no way that the dress would zip up.
 
Chris stood downstairs waiting while we stared at the dress. They were already likely to be late for their dinner reservation, and Terry's dress was almost unwearable.
 
I ran downstairs and grabbed the thread that was the same color as the dress, a needle, and Chris. I sat on the toilet and sewed up the back of the dress while Terry chatted with Chris, who found the whole thing amusing. Luckily, the stitching was almost invisible on the blue nylon zipper. They were only slightly delayed, and went off to have a grand time.
 
Our church has an unspoken tradition that encourages kids to wear their formalwear to church the day after a formal dance, so that everyone can ooh and aah over them. Terry was so tired when she got home from the prom that she fell into bed without getting cut out of her dress. I was sure that it would be too mussed and rumpled to wear in the morning, but I was wrong.
 
I have no idea how she did it, but Terry slept in one position, on her back, all night long. Even her hair and makeup barely needed touched up. She looked marvelous. I would have looked like I'd been shoved in the trunk of a car for a week.
 
Chris, who does not belong to our church, told everyone that the whole thing was a religious ritual, that our church required girls to be sewn into their formals to make sure they stayed on all night. He embellished it even further – "Then, they have to sleep in the dresses and go to church and show the bishop the next morning, so he can see that they left it on all night. That way he knows they weren't having sex." If they didn't do these things, there would be church disciplinary action taken, he told people.
 
He did not believe me that people would take him seriously.
 
"For one thing, I mean, it's a dress. The skirt goes up," he said. Obviously, leaving a dress on does not mean that no sexual activity can take place. That alone would make it obvious that he was joking, he was sure.
 
I am not so sure. I think that somewhere, someone is convinced that Chris was telling the truth. "I actually know someone this happened to!" they'll say.
 
If you ever hear someone tell you such a story, even if they insist that it's absolutely true, now you'll know where and how the story started.
 
It was just haste and a cheap zipper, folks, not a religious ritual or requirement. I promise.
 
Before Terry wore the dress again, I used more of the shawl material to sew a flap to one side of the back opening, then put ribbon loops and lacing up the back. It looks great, it allows for weight gain (or loss), and there's no zipper to break.
 
No, lacing does not count as being sewn in. I'm telling you, that's a rumor!