Sunday, July 7, 2013

Travel Reviews

I am not a hotel snob. I can't bring myself to be any kind of snob, really.

I love to travel, but all I really want out of a hotel is that it be clean, comfortable, quiet and safe. I don't really plan to spend much time at the hotel. My kids have frequently complained that they don't get to spend enough time in hotel pools.

Sometimes, we'll book a stay at a resort, intending to do more than just sleep and shower there. Our favorite was on the Big Island of Hawaii.




I rarely read guest reviews of properties, because I've discovered that most people hold opinions that are very different from mine. We loved this property. It's one of the few places we've ever stayed where we didn't leave the hotel for an entire day. Our favorite spot was the lagoon, where we snorkeled almost daily. After we came home, I read some reviews, and was glad that I hadn't read them, and perhaps passed on this resort, based on them, before we left.






Many were just scathing. "Awful. I'd never stay here again. Avoid at all costs." Really?

The most common complaint was, "It took 20 minutes to go between the parking lot and our room." Clearly, repeatedly, in the description available, it says that the resort is 62 acres, with several swimming pools, a golf course, the lagoon, restaurants and more. Did anyone imagine that 62 acres meant that you'd be within 5 minutes of your room at all times? Even walking was quick, maybe 25 minutes from property end to end, and there were both a train and gleaming teak and brass boats that would take guests between buildings. Yet, over and over came the complaint about how far apart things were.




One guest complained that the whole place "smelled like a sewer." Um, no, sir, it smelled like the tropics. It smelled wet, because it is wet. The ocean does not smell like a chlorinated pool. Wet, loamy soil does not smell like my home in the desert. Fish ponds will smell like fish live there. There's a country song about a student trip with the lyrics, "We all started yelling when we smelled the beach." I was glad that it was written by someone actually familiar with the ocean. Anyone who expects the real thing to smell like fabric softener called "Ocean Breeze" will be disappointed. The real thing smells wet, a bit fishy, and faintly of decaying plant matter.

We want to go back some day, and take the rest of our family.

At Disneyland, a favorite destination, we like to be within walking distance of the parks. We have stayed on Disney property, at the Grand Californian, and it was great. The room was comfortable, convenient, and had bunk beds for my kids. Why don't more hotels have bunk beds? How often do you want to put two couples in a room together? (Don't answer that.) My travel has usually been with between 2 and 5 kids. Kids do not want to share a bed. Parents do not want to listen to arguments about hogging space and taking the covers. Yet, Disney is one of a very few companies I've ever known to put bunk beds (including ones with a trundle!) in their rooms.




Still, the Grand Californian is much more expensive than other choices. We usually choose places that are in an entirely different cost bracket.

We once stayed at a property that my husband and I loved, and our oldest daughter hated. It was an older place, probably built in the 1950s, and it looked like it. The pool was tiny, and the breakfast was prepackaged pastries. We didn't care; the room was great. We had a mini suite with a king sized bed in one room (important when you and your spouse are both large people, and your spouse can't stand to be touched in his sleep), a second bedroom with 2 queen sized beds, and a full kitchen, with a full sized refrigerator, a stove, a microwave and a dining room table. It would have been especially ideal if we'd been planning an extended stay. We had 5 of us in our room, and my oldest daughter and her husband in another room.

What did this daughter hate the most? The towels. "They're rags! The cleaning rags at my house are nicer than these!" This is true, about her cleaning rags. She is a towel snob. At the age of 13, she was furious with me because I would not replace the one year old beach towel that she'd used exactly twice. ("It's old! It's worn out!") The hotel towels were showing signs of age, sure, but I wouldn't even have remembered them if she hadn't come unglued. (I think she's too picky. She thinks I'm not picky enough. Yes, we love each other and choose to travel together, at least once a year.) She insists that if we ever stay there again, she will bring her own towels. OK.

(The next time she stayed at a hotel, she phoned me. "It was great! Everything was brand new, and the towels were so fluffy!")

Recently we went to Paris, my husband, my youngest 2 children and me. Three of the four of us had never been there before; my son was there two years ago. Paris, of course, is one of those iconic cities that almost everyone wants to see.

As usual, I just wanted clean and comfortable. Unlike my usual routine, I read the reviews on the booking site ahead of time. I knew nothing about Paris, and I wanted to be sure of things like how close it was to the train station; we planned on arriving and leaving by train.

"I think this hotel caters to college backpackers," I told my husband. It was in an older building with few amenities, inexpensive, and the room I booked had 4 single beds. (Unlike the frame of reference in the US, here "older" equated to "about two centuries," nearly as I could tell.) The reviews said that the rooms were small. "If you have a lot of luggage, plan on stacking it in the tub." We were fine with all of this, because we'd be in Paris. It was supposed to be within walking distance of the Louvre - bonus!

When we arrived, tired and dragging our huge American suitcases, they may have looked at our family and decided to put us in a different room, because they gave us a room with 2 queen beds. There were no lifts; we went up three flights of these stairs. (At least we didn't have to traverse the 6 flights to the top.)



Here's the room itself:



It was small, but not as small as I'd expected. The bathroom was larger than I expected, too. The walls were thick stone, so it was comfortable even without air conditioning. With the windows closed, it was also quiet. The only noise that seeped through were TV sounds from the flatscreen on the opposite side of one wall. The beds were some of the most comfortable we slept on during the entire week in Europe. The bedding was thick cotton, hand quilted, and reminded me of something you'd find on a visit to a grandparent's house. And we were in Paris!





It was half a block from the metro station, a few minutes' walk to the train station, close to numerous restaurants. Here's a few of the places we walked to that first day:













Paris!

After we came home, we left our own review. It said basically what I said above - comfortable, clean, great location, few amenities. Then I read the other reviews.

About half said almost the same things I did. The others were deeply scathing. "Never stay here!" "I'm writing on every travel sight (sic) I can find to avoid this place!" "Awful!" Honestly, I think most of those were the traveler's fault. One whined, "I didn't even realize I'd booked a one star property until I arrived." Really, Traveler? It's clearly posted on the website. Even if it wasn't, you thought that a place without a pool, a fitness center, conference rooms or any other modern amenities was a five star?

One woman said, "Overweight people would have a hard time in these rooms." I'm very large, my husband and daughter aren't small, and we were fine. We didn't have to stack our luggage in the tub, either. Another said, "I literally could not turn around." People really need to understand what "literally" means. It is not physically possible to be in a room large enough to hold a bed and be "literally" unable to turn around. Nobody would be ballroom dancing in these rooms, our two beds were each against a wall, but let's not exaggerate here.

One said, "I don't even think the photos on the website were real." Wow. After looking through them, I can say that not only do I not think that they're faked, they're very accurate. I saw the single room across the hall from us, our room, the lobby, the lounge - they all look just like the web photos. The main photo on the site looks almost identical to this one that I took.



I think I'll continue to stick with my usual behavior - I don't ask for, or give, advice very often, because what I think and what others think may or may not bear any resemblance to each other.

Did I mention that I got to see Paris?

The second morning, we walked down the street to a little bakery for breakfast. While we were deciding, someone walked in and said, "Bonjour. Un baguette, sil vous plait." It was delightful - we were having An Authentic French Experience! I'd be happy to do it again.




I'd be happy to do it from a comfortable, clean one star hotel.

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