Things That Make Me Go "Hmm" (Part 1)

Volumes could be filled with the things that puzzle me. Here are just a few.

Why is the nickname for Sylvester "Sly?" I mean, I understand not wanting to be "Syl," but this makes no sense to me.

Along those same lines, why is the nickname for William "Bill" or "Billy?" Will or Willie, I get. But Bill? Where'd the B come from?

Fashion; no matter how I look at it, it makes no sense. "These things weren't popular years ago, and they won't be popular years from now, but right now, you must have them!" I don't care if it's clothes or hair or home furnishings, this makes no sense. I understand the capitalism of it all, "Sell more stuff by creating false need, and making sure people replace things that aren't worn out," but I just cannot quite comprehend 1. why so many people go along with it, and 2. why so many people treat it as though it has any actual value.

Conviction by Consensus, the idea that, "Other people think this; therefore, I will think this." All the permutations of it, from fashion to mob mentality, just escape me. Again, intellectually, I can explain it. I understand the psychological and anthropological reasons, the fact that being part of a group makes survival easier and more likely. I understand that some people just do not trust their own judgement, but feel sure that majority opinion confers some kind of authority. After all, isn't that democracy in a nutshell - "We will do whatever the majority decides we should do."

Still, keep in mind that "majority" means "anything over half," so out of 100 people, 51 is a majority; that still leaves 49 dissenters, though, who are told that their idea has less value, just because there are fewer of them. I understand using this as a basis for a government, but not in using it to make decisions or form opinions about everyday life.

The older I get, the more I want to strike the phrase "most people" from anyone's vocabulary. "Most people like (blank)." "Most people will do (blank)." It's just infuriating. Have you sincerely polled all of the Earth's inhabitants? This is the adult version of a child's statement - "Everybody else (fill in the blank)." Unless you put some parameters on it - "most people who visit Rome for the first time," "most people who live in Chicago" - I just want to disregard whatever you have to say outright.

Even if you do designate your parameters, and your analysis is correct, why should that indicate any kind of desirability? Truly, why is something a good or bad idea just because a lot of people agree? Every single inventor, discoverer or pioneer did things that went against prevailing knowledge and opinion. Watching "The Imitation Game," I was struck by the fact that someone more likable and agreeable than Alan Turing would have caved to his peers. After all, these were honestly the best and brightest analysts available. They were smart, educated, informed and well intentioned. They told Turing that he was doing it wrong, wasting time, wasting money, costing lives, and he should just buckle down and do it like the others did. Yet, Turing was right. They were able to succeed only because he stubbornly refused to listen to majority opinion, and in doing so, he ended the war years earlier, and changed cryptography forever.

I understand, too, the desire to be like someone we admire, or to cultivate traits that seem desirable, but I just want to smack people who explain any part of their opinion or actions by saying, "Intelligent people think/do x." It makes me want to drip with sarcasm - "Do tell! Enlighten me! However do intelligent people think? I would so love a glimpse into that rarified world!" In actuality, folks, truly intelligent people form opinions and make decisions on their own, not as a group. And, they frequently disagree with one another.

Negativity, in almost any form, annoys me. I read a study that measured how readers rated the intelligence of review writers. Participants were given movie and book reviews written by the same person, expressing the same views, with just a few key words and phrases changed, to reflect either a positive, upbeat tone, or a negative one. By a huge margin, the participants said that the reviews using negative words were written by more intelligent writers. Anecdotally, I see this frequently. Be happy or positive about something, and people adjust their estimation of your IQ downward, but be rude, scathing and dissatisfied, and they'll think that you're a genius. It aggravates me.

Has no one noticed that any idiot can complain or find fault, and most of them do? It takes hard, relentless work to see the positive in any given situation. Many people are ill equipped, or simply don't expend the effort.

Ranch dressing; I'll eat it if there's nothing else available for my salad, but I don't really like it. I don't want it on my sliced veggies, my wings, my pizza, my chicken strips, or anything else. I'm always puzzled when I'm at a restaurant and they bring me copious amounts of ranch that I didn't order, or ask me if I want it when I haven't asked for it. It's not horrifying, but it's not amazing.

Fear of rodents and/or insects; I just can't quite imagine what harm people fear will befall them. Rodents are cute. Bugs can be lovely. Neither one frightens me. I do dislike the sensation of lots of little legs walking on me, but I also dislike having people stand too close to me or rub me too lightly, and that doesn't cause me to scream and run.

Fear of snakes; fear of venom makes sense, but fear of any snake? Why?

Extreme germaphobia; come on, trust your immune system. I was at a weekend event at a high school, and took an available opportunity to nap; the only place quiet enough was the school library, where I could nap on the floor. My son wrinkled his nose and said, "Oh, yeah, Mom, that's real sanitary." My response: "Our ancestors lived through the Middle Ages. I think I can handle a frequently cleaned library floor."

Driving fast; I am not an adrenaline junkie. I dislike the physical sensation of speed. I dislike knowing that speed increases danger. Things that are fender benders at 25 are fatal at 85. I'm generally not in a hurry, either. Impatience is just an exercise in misery.

I do not enjoy large (or steep) roller coasters, anything that drops from a height, or other adrenaline rush rides; see above.

High heels are of the devil, I'm sure. Not in a "you shameless hussy" kind of way, just in an "I'm not a masochist, I don't want to be in pain" way. I read where an actress was quoted as saying, "Who cares about comfort on the red carpet? It's about looking fabulous." She does indeed look more fabulous than I do, but I care about comfort. Call me a hedonist, but I can't imagine why anyone would choose to wear something that hurt.